Transcript of the Service

A Service to Celebrate

 the life of

Anderson James Lamb

“Andy”

 

Frankby Cemetery Chapel

27th July 2021

2.30pm

 

Processional Music

Halo Canticles

 

 

Welcome and Introduction

 by Andrew Deighton

Civil Celebrant

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We gather here today to celebrate the life and to honour the memory of Anderson James Lamb “Andy”.

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It is Andy’s passing that has brought us together but it is his life that we wish to remember. We are drawn here by our common love, our common respect and our common grief and this is certainly an occasion of great sadness but may it also be an occasion for thanksgiving because we are thankful for the gift of life and we are thankful that Andy walked the path of life with us.

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Regardless of status or creed, everyone leaves a trace of themselves behind in our thoughts – whether by kind word or deed or through achievement and example – we are each unique beings with our own strengths and weaknesses and a story all our of own to tell.

 

 

 

Memories of Andy

By Kev

 

Andy arrived on this planet 30th October 1990.  Our first ‘bundle of joy’ of three.  Bundles two and three being Cathie arriving about a year later, and then Al another 18 months after that.

 

Clare and I had just bought our first place together – a flat in Birkenhead, with no central heating, big single glazed windows, no money and no idea, and we recall looking down at Andy in his cot wondering what to do as no instructions came with him.  There wasn’t even an internet or Google to turn to back then.

 

We stayed there for just over five years and enrolled all three into local nurseries, playgroups and even music groups, were Clare and I made many new friends who we are still in regular touch with today.

 

Andy started at St Saviour’s School in Oxton but before he had completed his first year, we moved to our current house in Greasby in the middle of winter, in the snow and aided by yet more good friends.

 

The house was too small, again the heating and windows were inadequate, it was really cold but we did have a coal fire.  Andy stayed with St Saviour’s School for a while but quickly moved over to Greasby Infant School, and from there onto Greasby Junior School.  It was at these schools he first met with lifelong friends Craig, Kenny, Steve and Fareed.

 

It is fair to say that Andy made an impact on the schools, as I’m sure his teachers would probably testify!

 

In particular, Dave had a huge influence on Andy and it was he who encouraged and nurtured Andy’s talent for drawing and painting.

 

During this time, Andy joined the usual groups – Beavers, cubs, swimming lessons and the like.

 

Andy then moved onto Hilbre High School – which was a pretty testing experience for all involved.  It was definitely not his favourite place, and it is also possible that Andy was not their most popular pupil ever.  But on the upside, it was at Hilbre he met Stewey, and they became great friends.

 

We had many gatherings at the house – Craig, Kenny, Fareed, Steve, Al and sometimes even Cathie - where hours of computer gaming, Warhammer, model making, music and general buffoonery took place.  They even let me join in on occasion.

 

In addition to gathering at the house, they also allowed me to take them out on various outdoor pursuits (they assured me it wasn’t just because I had a car) – hill walking, camping, kayaking, paintballing and so on.  Cathie was a little less keen on the outdoor stuff – and I’d definitely recommend selecting another kayaking partner to be honest.

 

I do have many fond memories of those days.

 

I am minded of a significant event in the annals of Greasby, involving an egg, a house and Andy – I am unsure of the exact details but it culminated in a police response which took them to Craig’s door. Craig took the rap on Andy’s behalf.  Both Andy and myself were impressed - good friend indeed.  And this was just one of their many misadventures through the years.

 

Andy was introduced to paintball when he was about 14 or 15 years old and became a regular attendee at the SWAT site in Parkgate.  He ultimately earned a position as a marshall, and even made it onto their competition team.  He then progressed onto airsoft gaming.

 

This was an experience he thoroughly enjoyed, and he loved the company and banter of the SWAT staff.  He also managed to drag the rest of the boys along too – including myself.

 

Andy even sneakily paid my paintball bill one day – for my birthday.  He didn’t have much money and this was a lovely gesture on his part.

 

On completing High School, Andy enrolled on a Pre-Army training course with a view to joining the Army.  He completed this course and did indeed successfully enrol in the Army as an infantry soldier in the Mercian Regiment.  This was in the middle of the Iraq and Afghanistan campaigns – Clare and I were less than delighted, as you can imagine.

 

Andy incurred a couple of injuries during his training but soldiered on through.  He completed his first three months basic training and whilst there were many aspects of the job he enjoyed, he realised that there were many other aspects he did not, and would not be able to live with, and he wisely decided to leave at this time.

 

Andy then enrolled on a 2 year Outdoor Pursuits course at Wirral Metropolitan College where he studied hill walking, kayaking, climbing, archery and other outdoor activities.  He thoroughly enjoyed this time and enjoyed the various activities with his classmates.

 

From here, Andy moved over to a Yorkshire village to do construction work on Andrea and Si’s farm.  He stayed with them for a while before moving into an attic space in AJ’s house in the village.  Andy brought back many fond tales of his time and experiences there.

 

About a year or so later, Andy returned to the family home and in a short time struck up a relationship with a remarkable young lady from Nigeria.  This lady was to become his wife a few years later.

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Didi has put together some words of their story together:

 

I met Andy 8 years ago. I had just moved to Liverpool for uni and was on a summer placement. All my friends had gone home at this time so I went online to find new friends that are local. I saw a picture of Andy and was captivated by his smile, he looked so happy while he was climbing a hill. I was instantly drawn to someone that was just so happy being outdoors. People that know me well know that I hate the outdoors and cold, so I thought that anyone that was so happy with what I thought was the worst thing ever in the world would be an amazing person - and I was right, he was the best.

 

We talked online for a while and when we decided to meet, he had to go to Scotland to see his Nan, I was a bit sceptical about that but he took his laptop with him to keep contact to assure me that he was genuinely interested in me. We went on our first date in Liverpool, and went to see a movie and had coffee afterwards. Andy confessed to me years later that he was ecstatic that I said ‘yes’ to him and he was concerned as he had spent all his basic training money from the army on other dates and other necessities and only had about £20 for the date.  No wonder he didn't have any coffee after the cinema date as he spent the last change buying me one.

 

We went on a few more dates and he asked me to meet his parents. I was not too keen on that as in my culture, we don't meet parents until we are planning a marriage. He convinced me to meet his siblings first and if I felt comfortable then I could meet his parents.

 

We dated for a few more weeks and I had to go back to Nigeria for a few weeks.  I got a really cheap student room but Andy helped me get the keys and checked the rooms. He surprised me with a room makeover as he said and I quote "this place is too rubbish for you". He painted the room in my favourite colour and made it homely. My flatmates were surprised that the landlord would renovate just my room not knowing that and asked me if I had asked the landlord for a revamp and they were surprised when I told them my boyfriend did it all for me.

 

Over the years, Andy has done so many spectacular things to make my life in this country easier, he understood that I had no family in Liverpool and was always around to help and assist me. He would go above and beyond for me, even breaking rules just to make me happy. When I opened about my medical condition, he researched it and followed me to my doctors to find how he could support me. He got care plans from my doctors, he would stay in the hospital all day and would even sneakily sleep in the hospital so he could be there when I woke up.  He would get me spicy food from home to make me comfortable.

 

Andy and I spent most of our times together while I was in Uni. He showed me a lot places in UK. We visited Scotland to visit his Nan and attended the Edinburgh Festival as he found out they had a Nigerian display. We also visited Belfast to do a tour of the big Northern Ireland sites such as the Giants Causeway and a tour of the Irish Conflicts.  Andy was fascinated about the Northern Ireland conflict and he just walked out the door and visited all the places he had read about.  We even arrived to a hostile environment with a riot happening (it was easter after all) but that was Andy.  I thought I was gonna die of heartache just worrying so much about him when he's on his dangerous adventures.

 

In 2016, Andy finally met my parents when they came to UK for my graduation. My parents were sceptical about Andy as they felt like he wouldn't understand our culture and they wouldn't understand him either but they both fell in love with him. He was very helpful, he made them a traditional Nigerian dish on their first day here and assisted them with their shopping and kept them company even though Andy hated shopping. My mum said she was surprised at how much he pampered me and even called me spoilt.

 

The year after that, I had to leave the country as I had problems with my visa. Andy offered to marry me to keep me in the country but I decided to leave anyways. Andy decided to travel to Nigeria with me and keep doing a long distance relationship. We planned our trip to go to Nigeria together but I got help up by an immigration problem so Andy had to go ahead of me for about a week.

 

He travelled to Nigeria with a connecting flight in Germany, we were all concerned for him as this was his first international travel. We expected him to call us from the wrong continent saying he was lost but he did get there himself and met the rest of my family without me. He didn't even need me as he blended in easily, everyone fell in love with him. He would sit with all the women in the kitchen and help with the food preparation and chat with us all, he would them seamlessly move on to sit with the men and drink beer. He would walk around Abuja saying hi and hello to everyone he met. He was known in the estate as the "American oyibo" (oyibo is the local word for white man).

 

The next time Andy was in Nigeria, he came to formally ask for my hand in marriage. I took him to all the places that expats went for his safety as he was concerned about the insecurity and I didn't want him to feel out of place but he insisted on going to where the locals are to eat local cuisine and talk to locals. They were very surprised and taken aback that he was so down to earth. He would walk round the estate and go to local shops to get his supplies and he was well known. I had random people ask me "how is your oyibo?" and I even became famous thanks to him. I used to be so scared of him going out and staying out late but he did assure me that so many people knew him that he felt like they would help out if anything happened to him.

 

The next trip, we travelled to my village. We told him to keep out of sight in the car as we didn't want to attract attention to ourselves but as usual Andy stuck his head out and came out of the car whenever he could. If America had a president like  him, I think the secret service would hate him.

 

The village was much more rural and the villagers were really happy to meet him. The older generation were a bit sceptical about him as historically they hadn't had good experience with people of his kind but they were surprised at how down to earth he was and how adventurous he was. He ate everything and anything that was served to him.

 

They were always yelling at him in Idoma not to go into the woods as snakes and other dangerous animals were in there and he would just yell back “hello” and keep walking on. They would then run back to our house and inform us that they were concerned for his life as they saw him going into the woods and I had to reassure them that he would be fine.

 

I would admit that as an African, it's a bit embarrassing as Andy had seen more African wildlife than I have ever seen. He's had so many near death experiences with various snakes, wild dogs and some hostile people but he just came back and told his stories laughing and we were just all mortified. My mum would be so happy when we left saying she doesn't want to have a heart attack worrying about him.

 

His third trip was back in Abuja, he did a lot of hiking during this time as this was during the covid period and he tried to avoid people. He was able to get maps out and find places to explore. He found hostile rural settlements, snakes, wild dogs, monkey settlements and bush babies.

 

My Nephews and nieces loved him so much, they would all just gravitate towards him and would spend hours playing with him. He captivated everyone he met in Nigeria as he understood our culture, respected and was genuinely interested in everything about Nigeria and the people.

 

We got married in early 2019 and then moved to Ipswich as I got a job there. We were both strangers here and we were starting our life together.

 

We moved in a flatshare and Andy immediately bonded with all the flatmates; having vodka drinking competitions with a Bulgarian, talking about the military life with an ex-paratrooper, discussing with a local about life as a young man in UK.

 

He did a few jobs for a colleague of mine who sang high praises of him and how honest he was as a gardener. He gave the garden at the house a new life and took care of the house. It went from one of the worst houses in the block to the best.  The landlord was very impressed and became friends with Andy.

 

Andy got his bike in Ipswich, I forced him to come to the bike shop with me and we saw this electric green bike and he fell in love with it. He cycled everywhere with it, he rode to the countryside and camped out and would sit out watching deer and squirrels.

 

We left Ipswich during the pandemic as I had to isolate, so we moved back to the Wirral.

 

I have been so grateful to meet Andy, I learnt so much from him. He has pushed me from 0% adventurous to about 40% adventurous - and that is such a big feat.

 

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Andy and Didi moved back to the family home in Greasby during the Covid pandemic.

 

Andy loved all kinds of activities – Walking, cycling, kayaking, wild camping, computer gaming, paintballing, listening to music, military history, drawing and painting, and gardening.

 

Andy couldn’t ever really be described as ‘sporty’, and he wasn’t the most coordinated athlete ever, but he did have a go.  There was an infamous tennis match which can only be described as the ‘most amazing match ever’.  And even the Arrowe Park Pitch ‘n’ Putt – which was a pretty frightening experience – especially for the other families using the course at the time – but at least it was conveniently close to the local A&E department.

 

He did excel at running though.  He (I) enrolled him on a half-marathon when he was about 17 years old and without any real training or effort he managed an impressive 1 hour 34 minutes.  He also did a number of 10k runs, including the Port Sunlight 10k.  He’d been out the night before and his ‘warm-up’ consisted of a ciggie and a handful of Skittle sweets.  His time was still pretty decent.

 

Cycling is an activity that Andy rediscovered over the last couple of years, mainly due to Didi buying him a bike while they were living in Ipswich.  He chose a lovely, bright green mountain bike which literally changed his life.  He loved it.  He was able to begin travelling around his local area and visit and wild camp in the countryside he craved.

 

And when Andy & Didi returned back to Greasby from Ipswich, he carried this on around the Wirral, and in particular with Craig & Kenny.  He loved their evening trips together and spoke of them with real warmth and joy.

 

Wild camping is something Andy has been doing for many years – either on his own or in company, and in any weather.  It’s something which has allowed him to escape the noise of life and commune with nature.  

 

He has helped us enormously over the years – even painting the outside of the house and sheds, as well as decorating indoors.  Always ready to lend a hand to friends and family in any way he could.  A regular visitor at Grandad’s for gardening and an extended cup of tea.

 

Andy used to carry out volunteering work with the wardens at Royden Park and gardening is an activity which he had come to love over the last couple of years – and consequently, we now have a pretty spectacular garden.  He spent ages monitoring and fine tuning all the plants and flowers.  And carrying out evening patrols to deter any slugs and snails.  He was a regular at the nursery around the corner from where we live and struck up a lovely relationship with them.

 

This is really just a list of some of Andy’s doings over the years, but there are many many more aspects to his life - I’ll hand over to Andrew now, who will read some of the reflections of Andy from friends and family.

 

 

 

Reflections from family and friends

read by Andrew Deighton

 

From Chief Matthias Abutu (Didi’s Dad)

Anderson Lamb, simply referred to as Andy was first known to me in the year 2016 when I went with my wife to UK for my daughter Ladidi’s graduation. That first meeting was in Liverpool and he got attracted to me for his humility and eagerness to assist us as strangers in the land.

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Andy, the young man with baritone voice, was someone who could get used to people within a short time of meeting. This was because he was an easy going personality. This won him admiration even when he visited my village in Benue State, Nigeria.

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Andy was a brave, courageous and adventurous person with a mind of his own. The three times he visited Nigeria, he exhibited these virtues. When we went to my village he used to climb one small hill behind my house in search of snakes as he said he had never in his life seen a live snake. The day he saw one, it was too fast that he was not able to take a snapshot of the snake. Many times in Abuja, he would go to places I don’t even know for his adventure. One day he went to a hill in Gwarinpa District and found a settlement that was completely different from the normal village settlement in our environment. I was told he took some snapshots there. With the insecurity and rampant cases of kidnapping in Nigeria Andy never adhered to our instructions not to be moving about alone. Visits to places of attraction were just like a hobby to him and he used to trek to those places, especially those within Gwarinpa.

 

Andy, many people you came across in my village and in our environment at Gwarinpa are mourning your demise. They are saying they will miss you so dearly. My family and I will miss you sorely. The way you left us is quite agonizing but in all things, we must still give glory to God our maker.

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As you depart, I pray God to have mercy on your soul and grant you peaceful rest in His bosom. May God grant those of us you left behind to mourn you, peace of heart, consolation and strength to move on, especially my daughter Ladidi, your amiable parents and your siblings.

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Adieu, Andy.

 

By Chief Matthias Abutu

Odejor II of Aroga and Ogbobu

K’Owukpa.

 

From Julie Abutu (Didi’s Mum)

I first met Andy when I came to the UK for my daughter, Ladidi's graduation. Andy greeted me with a traditional Nigerian meal known as jollof rice. It was not the tastiest of meals but it was much more preferable to the local cuisine which I did not find palatable at all.

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Andy was so helpful to us all through our stay. I remember thinking, 'how can someone so little have so much strength'?

A while later, he bravely visited Nigeria alone, even though it was a strange place to him with an international reputation for insecurity to ask for Didi's hand in marriage. He accompanied us all the way to my village. He was so jovial, everyone wanted to be around him. He was very inquisitive and we would talk about several historical events.

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It wasn't all roses though. Andy and I would also have moments where I got upset with him but it never took long because he was quick to apologise and make sure everything was alright.

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I will miss Andy dearly. I am happy I got to meet such a wonderful boy with an amazing and curious mind.

 

Rest in peace Andy Lamb.

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From Jacob Abutu (Didi’s Brother)

Andy was smart, always reliable and physically fit.  Anderson Lamb to me was not only a brother-in-law but my brother and I gained so much knowledge from him.

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Andy was so amiable, he would always put others before himself and always tried not to be the cause of controversy.

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But you were too nice Andy my brother, oh how I wished you had been more confident and confrontational, maybe you’d have never done that to yourself in order not to be a burden to others, which you weren’t.

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You had a modest life and were always satisfied with food and shelter alone.

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I’m going to miss you, you’ll always be my brother for life.

 

From Ruth

When I think of Andy I often think of when he was little and what an affectionate boy he always was.

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That lovely little pat on the back he gave with every hug  which seemed so grown up and as if he really meant it and wasn’t just hugging an auntie because he had to.

 

From Sarah

I have lots of happy memories of Andy, at home with Clare, Kev, Cathy and Al, at Mike and Joan’s, and on holiday in the Cotswolds. Living a long way away I hadn’t seen as much of Andy in recent years but it was  lovely to talk to him on the phone. He was always so ready to chat and fill me in on whatever he was doing at the time. xxxx

 

From Sid

When he was a young boy Andy was unfailingly gentle and caring. Seeing you to your car at the end of a visit, holding the car door open and a big hug.

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Later, when I would be staying with Andy’s Nan and Grandad, the lure of the bacon butty that would prise him from his teenage slumber.

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Later still, whenever we met, we had such good chats, just about this and that, never feeling that I was his Great Aunt. He was such a lovely Great Nephew and always ready for a hug.

 

From Andrea

The reason I came back from my new life in Canada was to meet ‘Pud’, the most beautiful baby in the world. Our first family baby.

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One of my first and most favourite memories was when I wouldn’t ever put him down. He asked ‘please would you put me down now Aunty Andy?’

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I wish I never had.

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He helped me so much with Emy, the kindest sweetest soul. We will miss his giggling and laughing, his generous nature, his beautiful face - all of him.

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But there will not be a day his won’t be in our thoughts.

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Love you Andy.

 

From Nan

I remember having many, many chats with Andy over the years – at all times of day and night.  It was Andy who named us as Nanny Blanky Lamb (from a toy Auntie Sid had got him) and Grandad Fuzzy Face (due to Grandad’s splendid beard).

 

From Grandad

To the bravest of the brave.

Your pal…for always.  Grandad.  X

 

 

From Travis

Travis remembers their adventures together in the woods, playing tiddly Winks, Snakes & Ladders, and planting seeds in the garden.

 

From Stewey

I met Andy in year seven, he was a shy kid who wore his fringe over his face and loved to draw all over his school books, bloody good drawings at that!

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He invited me to his birthday party after what felt like our first conversation and our 20 year friendship began. I can't remember the birthday party but I remember there was a lot of pink wafers and subsequently a lot of pink vomit.

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The years following, we did everything together, we climbed, we paintballed, we painted warhammer, we camped, we stayed up till late in the morning playing xbox but most of all we laughed. I think I spent more time with Andy during those years then I did my own family.

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The best part of Andy was his sense of adventure, he'd always be up for anything and I owe a lot to him for bringing me along on them with him. "Let's go wild camping tonight" he'd say, "let's sleep in the shed for a laugh", "let's climb this rock face", "let's go kayaking today".

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Andy was more than a best friend to me, he was like a brother, I'll miss him so much and I'll be forever grateful for the moments and memories we made together.

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Thank you Andy, may you rest in peace my friend.

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Love Stewart

 

From Denise

We will never forget Andy.  His shy smile as he greeted you, his free spirit and his love of nature and the outdoors.

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Although we can’t be with him, his spirit will live on in the plants and flowers around us that he loved, in the rocks and mountains he climbed, and in the beauty and freedom of the outdoor world he sought.

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We will miss you dear Andy.  You will live on in our hearts and in our thoughts.

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We hope you are now at peace.

 

From Claire

Andy was always warm with Holly and Chloe and they remember many events they were with him growing up. My fondest memory of Andy was when we entered races. Andy was an excellent runner. We once did a 10k and I had prepared with training and diet only to have Andy race far ahead having had beer and pizza the night before!!!

 

As a family we will miss him. He will always be in our hearts.

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Claire, Lee, Holly and Chloe xxxxx

 

From John & Betty

We called him ‘Handy Andy’ as he seemed to be able to turn his hand to anything, whether he had done it before or not.  Over a number of years, he had been helping two 80-year-olds with their house, garden and their log cabin in North Wales.  He was always smartly dressed for his work and liked to wear and use the smartest kit.

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He had a go at everything we asked him to do – drive repairs, laying slabs, power washing, fencing, roofing, joinery, tree felling, hedging, gardening and repairing sheds!

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Whenever we needed muscle, he was there because he was as strong as much as we were weak.  Evidence of that was in the number of garden tools he managed to break because of his determination!

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During the trips to Wales, we swapped stories of our mutual interest in the martial arts and the characters we had met.  He showed great respect and affection to Betty and I and at no time did he just indulge us because of our age. 

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Betty wanted to adopt him as he was so lovable and helpful. He was always grateful for Betty’s lunches and cakes and even had his own mugs for tea and his favourite chair in our snug.

 

From Q and Simon

Always thought of with a chicken poking out of his jacket and the occasional egg on my kitchen window.

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Crying writing this. We loved him and there will always be a hole where he should fit.

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Much, much love Q and Si.

 

From Sam – Outdoor Pursuits Course at College

In their first year, the class had to do laps around the campus – about 15 of them set off and within 10 minutes Andy had lapped them – complete with a loaded backpack on his back.  By the end of the session, he had lapped them 3 times – earning him the nickname of “The Six Million Dollar Man”.

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There have been many more messages of reflection – in cards, in texts, in conversation and they all speak of a gentle, charming, kind young man who was always ready to help, who always had a smile and a hug for you, friendly and amiable and able to put people at ease, a man who had a genuine interest and concern for others, and who wanted to see the right thing done.

 

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Further Reflections

Read by Kev and Clare

 

Clare & Kevin

Andy was a man of contradictions.

A man of seemingly simple needs, and yet complex.

Not really what you would call a traveller, and yet more travelled than most.

Not really what you’d call a social animal, and yet more sociable than most.

Not overly academic, but he was clever and intelligent.

He had a huge and contrasting music playlist – from the heaviest of heavy metal, to gentle ballads, to marching bands, to classical orchestra pieces.

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Amiable, genuine, considerate, honest, gentle, helpful are words which have been repeatedly used to describe Andy – and they are all true.

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But we must also add brave – he returned home with a bruised face as a teenager having intervened to stop a gang of youths having a go at a homeless guy, he confronted and chased off a burglar at Andy & Si’s, he spotted a house fire in one of Didi’s neighbour’s houses – raised the alarm and assisted in the fire fighting, and once when someone took a fall on a construction site – Andy also dived to catch him and offer protection without any consideration for himself.

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And as we have heard before – he was really pretty adventurous.

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But Andy was troubled by life and as so many people have stated here today – and the words of Didi’s brother Jacob really do resonate - Andy was a genuinely nice guy, with real compassion and a desire to see the right thing done – and to a large extent, it was frustration with the unpleasantness of the world today that really troubled him. 

 

Maybe he was just too nice a guy to survive it.

 

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Andy found these words – lyrics from an Iron Maiden song - and they meant something to him:

 

There is no easy way

For an honest man today

Which is something you should think of as my life boat sails away.

 

Everyone navigates their way through this world by different routes.
As we go forward in life, let us always be mindful of this.

 

I’d like to take this opportunity to thank you all for your help and support through this difficult time for us.  We’ve received so many loving messages, gifts and help from you all which has made it all more bearable.

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And I’d also like to use this opportunity to say a big thank you to Didi – for being Andy’s wife, you really were very good for him, and he really did love you.  And thank you for being our daughter-in-law.  We’re so very proud of what you have achieved and the happiness you have brought to our lives. 

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Clare

He always had time for others, he helped people, he was kind, funny and loving.

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He was honourable and lived his life trying to do the right thing.

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Andy, you have always been loved and you will always be loved.  It has been a privilege to have you in our lives.

 

Didi

Fate has forced me to say goodbye to my husband and best friend of eight years.

I found love, comfort and security in Andy.

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I met Andy when I first came to Liverpool, I had just moved away from family and friends, and was alone in a new city.

He was genuinely interested in my culture and my life story.  I felt very secure and free with him.  We had a bubble of support for each other and this has been the most difficult period in my life.

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He was a wonderful man, wherever we went together he was always the life of the party, everyone loved him for his pure honesty and his ability to make anyone from a different culture and way of life communicate  freely and openly with him.

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He was a genuine, kind, caring and compassionate human being who would go above and beyond for the ones he loved.

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I have been very grateful to know Andy and be one of his loved ones, as he has made these past eight years so memorable.

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I am devastated at this moment, but I take solace in knowing Andy is finally at peace.

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I love you Andy and I miss you so much. XXX

 

Kevin

Losing a son has been heart-breaking for me, but Andy, like all our children, is also my friend.

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I have walked many, many miles over hill and valley,  I have kayaked on rivers and lakes,  I have cycled along tracks and lanes, I have wild camped in hills and woods, and I have paintballed with Andy.

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I have played computer games with him (he always let me join in even though I usually ruined his game), gone to music concerts, and had some amazing conversations with him – not always easy, but they were always interesting and I have been constantly surprised and enlightened by his knowledge and observations of the world.

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Loss of my friend and companion and the knowledge that I won’t be doing these things with him any more is equally devastating & heart-breaking. 

 

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I do take some solace in his legacy, which is:

 

Many treasured memories

Lots of laughs

Lots of love

A beautiful garden

 

I really am going to miss him, but at least I know he is now at peace.

Be at peace Andy. XXX

 

 

 

 

Words of transition

 

 

(Move to graveside)

Whilst listening to:

Highway to Hell

AC/DC

 

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Farewell and Committal

 

 

As we lay Andy to rest in this pleasant place, the family have chosen some verses to give some comfort.

 

Old stone pits with veined ivy overhung,

Wild crooked brooks o’er which is rudely flung

A rail and plank that bends beneath the tread,

Old narrow lanes where trees meet overhead,

Path stiles on which a steeple we espy

Peeping and stretching in the distant sky,

And heaths o’erspread with furze bloom’s sunny shine

Where wonder pauses to exclaim ‘divine!’

Old ponds dim-shadowed with a broken tree –

These are the picturesque of taste to me,

While painting winds to make complete the scene

In rich confusion mingles every green,

Waving the sketching pencil in their hands,

Shading the living scenes to fairy lands.

 

Pleasant Places – John Clare

 

I am a thousand winds that blow.

I am the diamond glints on snow.

I am the sunlight on ripened grain.

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning’s hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circled flight.

I am the soft stars that shine at night.

 

Do not Stand at my Grave and Weep (abridged) – Anon

 

 

 

 

Closing words from Didi and her mother, Julie and read by Didi’s family member, Dickson in their native Idoma dialect:

 

O le be ke a yoche be, Andy meche ta me.  Oyalla ano letu oli cho meh, o keh he’ ebo.

 

Just like in the blink of an eye, Andy has left this world.

Our own lamb has gone to the big house in the sky and he is at peace.

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Didi, Kevin, Clare, Cathie & Al have asked me to extend their heartfelt thanks and gratitude for all the wonderful support they have received from family and friends in all sorts of ways.

 

As difficult as these times are, it is a great comfort to have such loving support.

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